MY ADOPTION STORY

So. . . I was adopted as a baby. Obviously, right? That's why you're here. Because adoption is inherently fascinating, and how could you not click to find out a little more? 

Well, yeah, I'm one of the extremely lucky kids out there who was born into a not-so-ideal situation but—thanks to the bravery of my birth mom and tenacity of my parents—quickly got scooped up and gifted an amazing life.

I got the most wonderful parents ever (hi, mom and dad!). They were sooo eager to have a child, and somehow the planets aligned to bring us together. Back in 1986 they flew to New York where I was born and brought me back to my new home in Oakland, California—as their daughter. I thank my lucky stars for that every day. 

I grew up always knowing I was adopted, and I thought that was pretty cool. I talked about it often with friends and many times found myself daydreaming about what my birth parents might be like, or if I might have siblings somewhere out there in the world.

When social media became a thing, I jumped in, elated at the thought that my birth mother might one day find me through this fancy thing called the internet. (It wasn't until much later that I found out that she didn't even know my name and never would have been able to find me). But ever eager, I plastered myself on the internet. I put myself out there on all those family reunion sites, and shared my life openly online.

She never found me, but about 10 years ago, I found her. Yup, on Facebook. 

I immediately pounded out a probably-too-emotional-but-still-very-respectful-and-sensitive message, talked to her on the phone the very next day, and flew across the country to meet her (for the first time since I was a wee little baby) the very next week. It was magical. I don't know how else to describe it. So, so, so unbelievably special. 

As soon as I met my birth mom and saw just how much we had in common, a fire ignited in my heart to find the other half: my birth father. 

This was something I never in a million years thought would be possible, since I had no name, no photograph, no location—no context whatsoever. My birth'ma didn't even know who he was. Annnnnd, of course, he never knew I existed. So that's that, right? That little hole in my heart that was aching to find it's missing connection would just have to make peace with remaining vacant. And honestly, it did. Life is awesome and I sure as heck wasn't going to waste it thinking too much about something I would never have. 

Well, fast forward to now. The age of science, DNA testing, and massively exciting tools that enable us to find thousands of blood relatives we'd never otherwise know simply by spitting in a tube. Suddenly, the prospect of being able to find my birth father became real. And I didn't wait a beat to start my search. 

I shipped my DNA off to 23andme and Ancestry DNA and crossed my fingers for relative matches that would enable me to find my birth father. It took a few years of DNA research, digging, messages to distant relatives, and hope, but just a couple months ago, a first cousin match popped up. Hours of deep internet stalking later, I found him. 

Oh my god. 

Oh my god. 

Oh my god. 

That moment was a rush of emotion like you wouldn't believe. There were tears. I messaged him. He responded. I talked to him. I swapped stories with him. He introduced me to my half-brother (wow, wow, wow—awesome). And my aunts. And my cousins. And my grandparents. And, well, you know the rest of the story because I even filmed a video with him! The video you just watched above. Needless to say, this has been every bit as wondrous as finding my birth mother was 10 years ago. I'm still pinching myself to make sure this is all real :) 

I hope that—at the very least—this story brings a smile to your face because the world can be pretty awesome sometimes.

If you're a fellow adoptee hoping to one day connect with your birth family, I hope this inspires you to keep forging ahead on your search. I know it can be a long and difficult road and you'll surely hit a lot of roadblocks, but power through those feelings of hopelessness. You've got this. And when you do find them, reach out with the utmost sensitivity. If you need support or advice, I'm here for you. 

And if you one day find out you have a child or sibling or niece or nephew or cousin or grandchild you never knew about (hey—it could very well happen to you), I hope this inspires you to embrace that beautiful gift with open arms and lots of love. Because it truly is a beautiful thing. 

♡ Michelle